Sunday, 27 August 2017

Why We Didn't Announce Our Pregnancy On Facebook

My hubby and I are not the biggest social media enthusiasts. Yes we both have Facebook, but we don't post every waking moment of our lives on there. A few pictures here and there, but it just isn't our thing to post our personal lives on there.

These days it seems FB is the source of everything, no one does anything in person especially when it comes to pregnancy announcements. We told no one when we first got pregnant - our own personal little secret growing in my belly which no one knew about apart from the cat! It had taken us a while to see those two lines on a test and we just wanted to cherish it in secret before everyone else found out.

After 13 weeks we told family, with the strict instructions that NOTHING were to be put on FB. If we weren't posting on there then no one else should be. Sounds fair right? This seemed to be a difficult concept for people to appreciate - they almost seemed confused. Yes family members and friends get excited as they as basically apart of it all, but I think they fail to remember that they weren't actually there at the conception themselves.

Then one day it happened - we were outed :-(

We were outed on FB first by my Mum who checked herself into a baby show we were attending. She didn't tag myself or the hubby who were with her, so we didn't know until she verbally said 'I've checked us in!' Why... when you know our wishes? The secret was out to her FB friends then! The next time a work colleague put a picture up of me in an album which had a baby related name and this time I was tagged. We got her to rename the album but the damage was done.

Both times I was annoyed, but more so I was quite upset and disappointed. We'd expressed our wishes and they weren't being respected - just a simple request. It was our news and other people started spreading it about like it was theirs to share. This was our little baby, we made it and we still hadn't uploaded a grainy picture or said a word on social media ourselves.

We had our reasons for not posting like I said earlier. Firstly due to the fear. This baby of ours didn't just appear in my womb over night. It was a long journey of tears and frustration. Days staring at lines on ovulation sticks and countless nights of rumpy pumpy with the hubby - not like he ever complained. Making a baby for us just wasn't happening. Then we were pregnant after over two years of wanting (I'll go into details hows and whys in another post). Given all I just wrote, I suppose the reason is obvious - the fear of losing something we wanted so badly certainly out weighed the desire to announce all over the Internet.

Another reason for our silence is to be respectful to others. I can personally say myself that seeing other peoples pictures of their little miracles pulled on my heart strings very very hard. Why am I looking at someone else scan picture instead of our own? The journey to parenthood is not plain sailing and I personally know of others who have and are still going through countless rounds of IVF to achieve the goal of becoming parents. If you've never struggled, then you will never know the feelings that come with it. The last thing you want is some excited announcement showing casing what someone else has got instead of you. I know you cannot stop everyone else's lives from happening, but a little compassion wouldn't go a miss sometimes.

When bubba finally has the desire to venture into the world, we'll pop a small post and picture onto our pages. Until then we'll still remain silent, like we have done from the beginning. Social media isn't the be all and end all.

Angela x



  1. I'm so sorry you were "outed" on Facebook against your desires, but massive congratulations! I know people that are struggling to conceive so I think the reasons for your silence are very thoughtful xx

    Ioanna | ❥


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